Love Coaching: 24 Steps to learn to love yourself

from On August 9, 2015
love coaching 24 steps to learn to love yourself

Love Coaching: 24 Steps to learn to love yourself

We spend so much time waiting to find that eternal love. We feel empty without it, we want someone to flourish and love us. Unfortunately, life does not work that way. To love ourselves means to respect ourselves, which is the only way to create love in our life and share with others. When you wait for love to come from outside, and the person who loves you does not fill your emptiness and your whims, you feel even worse than before. To be loved, you must love yourself and respect yourself as much as you respect the others. If you understand the importance of loving yourself, you will strengthen your capacity to love others, as you store energy that makes great things happen in your life. This Love Coaching article is there to help. If you feel that your life has no meaning, you are totally wrong! Every day people are born and people die, so use the time allotted to you wisely and respect yourself. Sometimes we feel that our life is based on only one person. But To love someone, you must first learn to love yourself.

1. Treat others with love and respect. By bringing joy into the lives of others, you too will bring joy in your own life. In addition, the ones you treat well, will treat you well in exchange. Gradually, you will feel your value with smiles of gratitude from others. Nevertheless, don’t be nice to them just to be able to expect something in return.

2. Ensure that others will be grateful for your kindness. Share what you have with others in multiple ways. Share your knowledge or give some money to someone in need or to a poor child. Support a candidate or a political cause, a community project, bring your help at school or hospital.

3. Express yourself by writing an article on a subject close to your heart. Share your ideals, your time or what you own.

4. Learn to detach yourself from a painful past. Make a clean sweep of the past! Many people have gone through painful events. Do not revel in your sorrows, your disappointments, your fears of the future. Consider these feelings, but be sure to relegate them to the past. Cherish what you have learned through your problems and be proud to have become stronger because of them.

5. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Do not punish yourself for what you have done in the past. On the contrary, consider that this error was an opportunity to learn. Tell yourself out loud and facing a mirror: “I forgive myself for  _______. “. Look at yourself straight in the eyes and say these words. If it makes you feel good, laugh, while thinking about how you were then and what you are now. Every day is a new life.

6. Place some positive mantras  where you will see them every day: “I’m handsome / beautiful” or “I have the courage to love.” Read them aloud each day, ideally ten times or whenever your eyes fall on it. The post-its are a fabulous tool for these mantras.

7. Sit in front of the mirror and imagine it was someone who despises you. Then train yourself to respond calmly with a smile: “I do not care.” Train until you really think it.

8. Escape materialism to find happiness. We all want a beautiful home, beautiful things, someone to share our lives with. Find what you really want. Do you want power, spirituality, or simply a reason to exist? Sometimes it’s easier to lie to ourselves, but by realizing what you really want will help you to know yourself better and answer the questions you ask yourself.

9. Keep a journal. Write down your experiences, whether good or bad. When you write positive events, allow yourself to relive that moment. If you describe negative passages, allow yourself to feel compassion for yourself. Compassion is not pity, but rather the willingness to accept your sorrows and your regrets. Adults should not expect approval from others, they must learn to approve their own choices. Compassion helps us recognize our pain and letting it go.

10. Be persistent. Work bitterly on yourself to learn to love and accept yourself just as you are. To love others, we must accept them as they are; this is no different for you. We can’t think about changing what we don’t like about ourself if we don’t  accept who we are.

11. Start thinking about how you want to be and who you want to be. Do it in a positive perspective, seeking to achieve your highest goals and considering your problems as something that motivates you to find better opportunities. Be enthusiastic and cheerful.

12. Don’t define yourself by what you did or what you are doing. Celebrate your successes but remember what you have not (yet) done. Remember that success is the path to the desires you are browsing. Your actions, your appearance, the amount of your bank account does not define you.

13. Show yourself some love by embracing the person you really are.

14. Be yourself. Express yourself, laugh, play, sing. Don’t be afraid of what other people think. They feel the same and they want to express themselves but don’t dare to.

15. Have confidence. Do not blindly follow the advice of others. Learn to know yourself.

16. Think of five positive adjectives to describe yourself. Do not use “nice” and “beautiful”, try to be more specific.

17. Think about what you expect from someone who would be in a relationship. Do these characteristics also apply to you?

18. Learn to receive love. To love truly you must be able to receive. When someone loves you, does nice things for you, compliments you, offers gifts, accept them. Allow yourself to feel the love that crosses your path. You give yourself a chance to understand that you are kind, to know that you deserve to be loved. It’s important to accept love from others. You can also train yourself to receive love by saying “I love you.” Let love fill your heart.

19. Learn to say no. We must say no to others when there is something you don’t want to do. Don’t feel guilty. Just understand that you have the right to do so. It’s different if you do something out of love. If you do something out of love and that your heart wants to do it, that’s another story. When your heart does not want to do it  and you feel compelled to please someone, learning to say no is an art and takes practice. Perhaps you could say “thank you for the proposal. I’m not ready to commit to anything yet.” You can not please everyone. When you say no, smile sincerely and say it gracefully.

20. Do what you like. What do you like to do? If you can find an activity that you enjoy doing and that you spend time doing, you will feel love, joy, happiness deep inside yourself. This is the time you connect with what you deeply are. You then become happier and more loving.

21. Treat yourself the same way you treat your best friend. How do you treat him (her)? With love, kindness, confidence, acceptance and respect?  You must treat yourself the same way! Train yourself to treat yourself as you treat your best friend, telling yourself some nice things. Stop insulting yourself, compliment yourself. Know your limits and listen to your needs. Be kind and caring with yourself.

22. It’s very important to take care of yourself. Spend time alone with yourself. Do something that brings peace, love, and joy. For the physical side, you can do exercise and eat healthy. For the emotional side, you can paint, listen to love songs, help people in need. By helping others, you receive love in return. You feel better because your life has meaning. You can also do yourself good by reading your favorite book, or doing meditation.

23. Stop comparing yourself to others. Each person is unique. We all have different gifts. When you compare yourself to others, you feel bad. If you compare your car, your home, your spouse, your children, your money, your work to other, you lose self esteem, you lose confidence, and you may feel depressed, envious, jealous. Instead, focus on your strengths. Know yourself to know what is the greatest gift  you have to share with the world. Be grateful for what you have: your family, your job, your spouse, what you own, etc. Recognition keeps your heart open for love. No one is like you, be yourself. Be happy to be the wonderful person you are. Do your best and love yourself as much as possible. You will then have more love to give to others.

24. Don’t try to be perfect. Stop blaming yourself for not being perfect. Always do your best, but not achieving perfection is not a failure. Make your way and do not let other people’s expectations put extra pressure on your shoulders. Always remember that you are perfect as you are, with all your faults.

Thank you for being a loyal Amethyst Coaching fan and reader. We hope this love coaching article was helpful. Best regards.


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *